From Finitude to Maturity: Aging, Dying, and Sustaining Belonging Without Lying to Oneself

Growing old is not only a matter of accumulating years. It is also a matter of experiencing, in an increasingly concrete way, the passage of time, the loss of people, changes in the body, and the nearness of one’s own finitude. Recent literature on existential ageing shows precisely that the awareness of being closer to death participates in the formation of identity and in important psychological changes in old age. The question, therefore, is not only biological. It is also existential: how can one continue to belong to the world when life can no longer be narrated as if it were infinite? [R1]

The thesis of this text is simple: maturity is not eliminating uncertainty, but tolerating it without having to manufacture rigid certainties. This is true in youth, but it gains special depth in old age. The proximity of death may increase fear, anxiety, and the need for control, but it may also open space for more honest reorderings of life. Recent reviews show that death anxiety in older adults is associated with multiple physical, psychological, and social factors; at the same time, studies on “preparedness for well-dying” indicate that variables such as meaning in life, family support, intrinsic religiosity, hardiness, and subjective well-being are related to a more mature preparation for dying — and, within this set, meaning in life appears as one of the strongest factors [R2][R4].

This helps us understand a decisive point: old age does not automatically mature anyone. It only makes it harder to sustain certain illusions without cost. When a person cannot tolerate ambivalence, they may respond to finitude with denial, moral hardening, spiritual idealizations, or false certainties about their own destiny. But recent research on how older people think about the future and anticipate end-of-life choices shows that this terrain is far more complex: fear, hesitation, a sense that “time is running out,” attempts to live one day at a time, and, in some cases, the ability to think beyond finitude all appear. In these studies, ambivalence does not emerge as a defect; it appears as a real part of the human experience in the face of dying [R5][R6].

In our language, perhaps the highest form of Zone 2 is precisely this: being able to belong to the world without anesthetizing critique and without denying finitude. This does not mean becoming indifferent to death, nor romanticizing aging. It means not selling lucidity in exchange for false peace. A mature person does not need to turn every doubt into a threat, every loss into failure, or every spirituality into escape. They can remain open to bond, body, space, memory, and limit — without needing to lie to themselves in order to remain standing. This formulation resonates with studies linking better quality of life in older adults to greater social support and less loneliness, as well as with evidence that religiosity/spirituality, when functional rather than coercive, is associated with fewer anxious and depressive symptoms and with greater life satisfaction [R3][R7].

For this reason, deep belonging in old age should not mean closure. It should not mean, “now I already know everything.” Perhaps it means the opposite: knowing that one does not know everything, and still continuing to inhabit the world with dignity. Some older people protect themselves by hardening; others mature by becoming more flexible. The former try to defeat finitude through rigid narratives. The latter learn not to depend on them. This may be the heart of existential honesty: not expelling death from the horizon, but also not allowing it to colonize the whole of life [R1][R5][R6].

This process is also bodily. In many cases, aging well is not about “feeling young forever,” but about being able to remain present in a changing body without treating it as an enemy. Feet on the ground, gravity accepted, rhythm more respected, breathing less hurried, openness still possible to care and bond. It is not a heroic victory over death. It is a gradual reconciliation with the fact that living has always included limit. And that limit does not have to mean isolation [R3][R6].

BrainLatam2026 Comment: DREX Cidadão, Belonging, and Decolonial Neuroscience

In our reading, the problem of finitude is not only individual. A society that humiliates, discards, and precarizes aging pushes people toward two lies at once: the lie that only those who remain productive in the same way still have value, and the lie that death must be hidden until the very last moment. In this scenario, it becomes harder to sustain real belonging. DREX Cidadão enters here as a proposal of metabolic grounding and distributed dignity: aging with less material fear may open more space for existential honesty, mutual care, and less defensive preparation for the end of life. The decolonial critique, at this point, is not a detail: it reminds us that a healthy society should not require the denial of finitude in order to grant value to someone [R3][R4][R6].

Closing

Perhaps the rarest maturity is not the maturity of the one who answers everything, but of the one who can bear not answering everything without collapsing. Aging, then, may cease to be only loss and become refinement: less fantasy of control, less haste to anesthetize doubt, less need for total certainties.

In the end, the passage is this:
from the baby to the elderly person, the question is not only how to survive; it is how to learn not to sell consciousness in exchange for narrative relief.

Final References

[R1] Kellehear A, Venturato L. Existential ageing and dying: A scoping review. Archives of Gerontology and Geriatrics. 2023.
Shows that the proximity of death participates in the formation of identity and in psychological changes in old age.

[R2] Younes RS, et al. Exploring Death Anxiety Among Older Adults. 2024.
Brings together factors associated with death anxiety in older adults, showing that the issue involves physical, psychological, and social dimensions.

[R3] Sulandari S, et al. A Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis of the Association Between Life Satisfaction and Its Determinants in Older Adults. 2024.
Shows that social support, lower loneliness, and better psychosocial conditions are strongly linked to life satisfaction in old age.

[R4] Kim SA, et al. Predictors of Preparedness for Well-Dying Among Middle-Aged and Older Adults. 2024.
Indicates that meaning in life, hardiness, intrinsic religiosity, family support, subjective well-being, and death anxiety are related to preparedness for dying well; meaning in life appears as the strongest factor.

[R5] Wright V, Lovatt M. Thinking about the future in older age. Journal of Aging Studies. 2024.
Describes different ways of living the future in old age, including fear of the future, a sense of time running out, living one day at a time, and thinking beyond finitude.

[R6] Antonides MF, van Wijngaarden E. The Lived Experience of Anticipating End-of-Life Choices in Older Adults and Their Close Ones. The Gerontologist. 2024.
Shows that end-of-life choices are lived with ambivalence, attempts at control, and a strong relational dimension.

[R7] Coelho-Júnior HJ, et al. Religiosity/Spirituality and Mental Health in Older Adults. 2022.
Suggests that religiosity/spirituality, when lived in a functional way, is associated with less anxiety and depression and with greater life satisfaction in older adults.